How to write a first cold email that isn't AI slop
Most cold email is obviously a template. Here's a simple structure for a first email that reads like a person wrote it, because one did.
Outrun team4 min read
You can spot AI outreach in half a second.
"Hope this finds you well." A compliment that could apply to anyone. A claim about "leveraging synergies". A first name in the wrong font. A placeholder that survived into the send.
The problem isn't that a tool helped write it. The problem is that nobody decided what it should say. Here's a structure that fixes that.
What makes an email slop
Slop has three tells:
- It could go to anyone. Swap the company name and nothing else changes.
- It's about the sender. Two paragraphs on who we are before one line about you.
- It asks too much. A 30-minute call from a stranger.
Fix those three and you're ahead of most of the inbox.
The five-part first email
Aim for under 90 words. Five parts, one line each.
- The reason. Something specific and dated about them. This is why you're writing today.
- The link to you. One sentence on why that matters to what you do.
- The point. One sentence on what you can help with. No feature list.
- The question. Small and easy to answer: "Is that on your list?"
- The exit. A genuine out: "If not, no worries."
Example:
Hi [first name],
Saw [Company] is hiring its first [role], advert dated [date].
We work with teams at that stage on [specific problem].
Is that something you're thinking about, or already sorted?
If not, no worries.
[Your name]
Rules that keep it human
- Write like you'd talk to a colleague you respect. Short sentences. Contractions. No "I trust this email finds you well."
- One signal, not five. Stacking facts reads like a dossier.
- No fake familiarity. "Loved your recent post" only works if you can say which post and why.
- No fake urgency. "Last chance!" from a stranger is a spam signal.
- Read it aloud. If you wouldn't say it to their face, delete it.
- Check every merge field. Send it to yourself. A stray
{first_name}or[INDUSTRY]is the quickest way to prove it's a template.
Subject lines
Short and plain beats clever. Use the company name or the reason. "Your first sales hire" works. "Quick question!!!" doesn't.
Avoid anything that pretends to be a reply ("Re:") or a forward ("Fwd:"). It's a cheap trick, readers know it, and it starts the relationship with a small lie.
Length and format
Plain text, no images, no big signature block, one link at most. An email that looks like a newsletter gets treated like one. An email that looks like a note from a person gets read like one.
Where AI helps and where it doesn't
Software is excellent at the boring parts: spotting that a company has just done something, finding who to contact, and linking to the source. It's poor at sounding like you, and the person reading can tell.
So split the job. Let a tool do the research. Write the email yourself, from your own inbox, with a real reason in it. That's the whole idea behind Outrun: we do the boring research, you do the human bit.
What a good first email gets you
A reply is the aim, and a "no thanks" counts. A quick no tells you the signal didn't matter to them, which is useful. Silence tells you nothing, so a short follow-up a few days later is fair game, with a different angle rather than "just bumping this".
Quick checklist
- Under 90 words
- The reason is dated and true
- One question
- No placeholders left
- Sounds like you
Outrun delivers the research part every weekday at 7am: leads with named contacts and the source behind each one. Start your 7-day free trial (card required).
